His Agenda

Julius and I are having our own countdown: the end of my fellowship training… 

December 31 days plus November 30 days plus 4 remaining days of October EQUALS 65 days to go!!!!! Yahoo!!!

… and the start of my own Family Medicine and Palliative Care practice in Dumaguete City.

On October 16, 2011, the Lord answered a very specific prayer – for Julius and me to recommit ourselves together into the saving grace and mercy of Jesus.

Our stay in Metro Manila had not been as smooth as I wanted it to be; to be in training at the country’s premier hospital and training institution has its own difficulties but it cannot be compared to the hardships of just being a husband waiting for his wife to come home after a day of hospital work. You see, Julius, is the type of guy who prides himself of making ends meet all by his own efforts. He thinks of himself as a self-made man.

Trouble ensued between the two of us right after he began to experience all the symptoms of hypo/hyperthyroidism after a total thyroidectomy. No matter how I try with various visual aids, he could not understand the “timpla-timpla” that doctors do about his levothyroxine medications. All of these symptoms are what’s keeping him from going back to seaman work. He kept on worrying about finances while I exhaust myself on explaining to him evidence-based medicine.

On this particular Sunday while we were attending the CCF church service in Ortigas and Ray An Fuentes was preaching, the Lord started to work in our hearts. He revealed His kingdom agenda of a worry-free life through Matthew 6:31-33. The lesson was for us to recognize the three areas on which we worry the most: the basic necessities, our treasures, and money. It is to “seek first His Kingdom” – this should be our focus, on what He wants to do rather than what we want to do for ourselves. We now understand that we are not guaranteed a problem-free earthly life but if we want a worry-free life, we should focus on God’s agenda. By God’s grace, He will back us up when we set our hearts and pursue His kingdom and his righteousness.

The next Friday afterwards, we were able to join a D-group meeting, led by the couple (Jhun and Cristy), where we met other couples who are living testimonies of God’s faithfulness.     

We are not quite there yet but we are certain of the promise that He will see us through - God’s work in progress.

Home

Home is where the heart is...

So Much More

My life is feeling a little too big for me and I do not see any easy answers to the challenges I am facing today.

• Late Last night, the husband of one of our advanced breast cancer patients (our "wishkoLang" patient) sent me a text message, asking for a prescription for her pain reliever. It is easy to write a yellow prescription but to actually give him the free morphine in the middle of a two-day government holiday is another thing. The morphine is supposedly being given free in all government hospitals, but you have to go through the bureaucratic router slips. In the end, I decided to meet him this morning to give him the extra tablets that I have been keeping in my duty bag for emergencies (and this is an emergency, I could not possibly allow a patient to be in such pain -and for her family to see her agony). Here is this family with young children, still trying to make ends meet, and with an ever increasing amount of utang because of the sick mother's oxygen needs at home :-( ...  After meeting him, I thought I am free to go about my days activities...not! I met in the hallway the husband of another advanced cancer patient - Albert and Lailah... and yes, it is about the morphine. Again.  =(
• Early this morning, I was informed of the passing away of Gabe – an eight-year-old girl with pontine glioma, with many contraptions attached to her body (a tracheostomy, a central catheter, a nasogastric tube, and other intravenous lines). I have been seeing her since June 8, 2011. Needless to say, seeing her every morning, her mom, her aunts, is part of my daily ritual. I have mixed emotions. Sad. Glad, Happy. Mad.
• I have not seen my husband for more than two weeks now. It is just too difficult.

The Word tells me that the events in my life right now are not just mere happenings. I could never escape God’s plan to guide and to provide. God has promised me that if I ask for wisdom, He will grant it. I don’t have to face the overwhelming challenges of this life alone. I have come to recognize my own smallness and to rest in God’s greatness.  

One Rainy Weekend

My husband, Julius, came to Metro Manila when Tropical Depression Goring was doing her thing. He had just come from Dumaguete City, after enduring the return check-ups, needle-pricks and airplane rides, to get his medical clearance. We were both glad that Dr.LTB had finally given that quite elusive clearance. I will surely remember this when I get the chance to "clear" a patient for work. I happened to have enrolled Julius under SUMC's Hospital Plan, he got a 50% off from the costs of the laboratory examination; but we still find it expensive – how much more for those families who need to do out-of-the-pocket payments.

Julius took the Superferry boat this time. It was not a long boat ride, about 26-27 hours; but he had two stories to tell. First, a female passenger from Guihulngan, Negros Oriental was reported to have jumped ship near the island of Marinduque. The vessel had to circle the area for a good two-three hours to look for her but to no avail. Why? I could only speculate. Putting one's own life to an end – (1)I find it psychiatric and (2) SAD. I wish that I or somebody else could have witnessed to her how Christ valued her.

Second. My husband knew of his own grandfather's death - the grandfather whom he was named after (Julian) and he same person whom he grew up with while his own parents had to find work for a growing family. I first met Tatay when Julius and I were making the rounds of visiting relatives when we were just planning to get married. He was 86 years old and had some trouble hearing. I liked him the first time I met him because he was honest and affectionate. I knew then, that the family patriarch approves of me joining the family. I also remember my own Daddy (Lolong) in him. Daddy cried when I was sent back to live with own parents. Tatay cried when Julius and I said our goodbyes after spending the Christmas holidays with them.

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I saw the sadness in Julius' eyes when he spoke of Tatay's death. He made various phone calls to Bohol and Leyte – to his Mama, his sister, his cousins and to Nanay. And I can feel his grief.

I have had 6 months of fellowship training in Supportive Hospice and Palliative Medicine. Every day my co-fellows and I talk about death like how Boy Abunda talks about the latest showbiz Buzz; I get to meet patients and families struggling to cope with chronic and terminal illnesses; not a week would pass when I get caught up with a family at bedside facing the death of a loved one, saying their goodbyes; and I can even do bereavement care with my eyes closed, half-awake/half-asleep at 2 o'clock in the morning.

But, I am at a loss now. How do I offer bereavement care to my own husband? Can I just take out my Oxford's and follow it? Or will I just be a wife?

I will be his wife, his companion, his confidante, his shoulder to cry on, his friend….

 

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Julius and I went to all our usual places, ate our usual food; and did something different somewhere in between.

We ran some errands, and ate that much craved for Taho –Taho Boy. Yummy.

Julius brought me to Cartimar – and wow, this is the place for shoes, especially men's shoes; I do not know what they are called by the Nike's and Adidas' at 7000p in the mall can be had in this place for just a thousand or even lesser. The casual shoes for ladies, TOMS or Crocs, it is here, too. "Do not judge the book by its cover."

We took a jeepney ride from Pasay to Divisoria because I wanted to see Tutuban Mall, even if the rain started to pour hard. We walked through that alley near Binondo and found our way to the Center Mall. The inside was unbelievable. My husband remarked."Naglibog na ka?" There were so many things and people inside. Before exploring, I had to feed Julius Zagu in Buko Pandan with extra pearls before exploring the place. The wedding gowns, the other gowns… The afternoon would not be complete without a visit to the ever reliable 168 Mall. I found a good excuse to drag my husband around the place – he will be helping me find good bargains for the things we are going the need for the Paggunita Activity. =)

As a fitting night cap, I had a fill of my husband's cooking –that pork adobo =); for the next day brought us to SM Manila, the Shawarma, and the Spa and the turon downstairs...

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There are days when we wished life was better, or we wished for the days we once had.

God has not promised to keep us from life's storms, but He will keep us through them.

That is His promise. He does not break His promise. Not ever.

Thank you, June!

The Month of May

I clicked on the new post icon with the intention of telling a story about the month that was (MAY); I wanted to narrate the exodus from pililia to this avenue and include as much as possible, as descriptively as I can get, the emotions of consternation and betrayal. However, I have changed my heart and my mind (in that particular order) while in the middle of choosing the kind of font to use for this entry.

Do I really need to write about the negatives that could add up to the already smoldering (exaggeration! maybe,  but I like the sound of the word) heat of Metro Manila? Would it do me good? Would it make me feel better?

Well, MAY wasn't all that bad, after all. Let me show you...

A welcome treat from my hubby

FinaLLy =)

 

The HaLo-HaLo and the Dinuguan

 

                                                                         A Night at the Mercato Centrale

A DeLight at the Seasons, Manila Pavilion

A day at The Island of Corregidor 

Julius and Dr. RafaeL Ang

Kami Lang po ang mga Pinoy sa tram na ito, at pinili po namin ang the only non-Filipino (American) na tour guide

This Man....

This same man...

...Loves Me Very Much!!!!

The Picture Does Not Lie. =)

All For This Week Slideshow: Rowena’s trip from Makati, National Capital Region, Philippines to 2 cities Manila and Quezon City was created by TripAdvisor. See another Philippines slideshow. Create a free slideshow with music from your travel photos.