My life is feeling a little too big for me and I do not see any easy answers to the challenges I am facing today.
- Late Last night, the husband of one of our advanced breast cancer patients (our "wishkoLang" patient) sent me a text message, asking for a prescription for her pain reliever. It is easy to write a yellow prescription but to actually give him the free morphine in the middle of a two-day government holiday is another thing. The morphine is supposedly being given free in all government hospitals, but you have to go through the bureaucratic router slips. In the end, I decided to meet him this morning to give him the extra tablets that I have been keeping in my duty bag for emergencies (and this is an emergency, I could not possibly allow a patient to be in such pain -and for her family to see her agony). Here is this family with young children, still trying to make ends meet, and with an ever increasing amount of utang because of the sick mother's oxygen needs at home :-( ... After meeting him, I thought I am free to go about my days activities...not! I met in the hallway the husband of another advanced cancer patient - Albert and Lailah... and yes, it is about the morphine. Again. =(
- Early this morning, I was informed of the passing away of Gabe – an eight-year-old girl with pontine glioma, with many contraptions attached to her body (a tracheostomy, a central catheter, a nasogastric tube, and other intravenous lines). I have been seeing her since June 8, 2011. Needless to say, seeing her every morning, her mom, her aunts, is part of my daily ritual. I have mixed emotions. Sad. Glad, Happy. Mad.
- I have not seen my husband for more than two weeks now. It is just too difficult.
The Word tells me that the events in my life right now are not just mere happenings. I could never escape God’s plan to guide and to provide. God has promised me that if I ask for wisdom, He will grant it. I don’t have to face the overwhelming challenges of this life alone. I have come to recognize my own smallness and to rest in God’s greatness.
