My husband, Julius, came to Metro Manila when Tropical Depression Goring was doing her thing. He had just come from Dumaguete City, after enduring the return check-ups, needle-pricks and airplane rides, to get his medical clearance. We were both glad that Dr.LTB had finally given that quite elusive clearance. I will surely remember this when I get the chance to "clear" a patient for work. I happened to have enrolled Julius under SUMC's Hospital Plan, he got a 50% off from the costs of the laboratory examination; but we still find it expensive – how much more for those families who need to do out-of-the-pocket payments.
Julius took the Superferry boat this time. It was not a long boat ride, about 26-27 hours; but he had two stories to tell. First, a female passenger from Guihulngan, Negros Oriental was reported to have jumped ship near the island of Marinduque. The vessel had to circle the area for a good two-three hours to look for her but to no avail. Why? I could only speculate. Putting one's own life to an end – (1)I find it psychiatric and (2) SAD. I wish that I or somebody else could have witnessed to her how Christ valued her.
Second. My husband knew of his own grandfather's death - the grandfather whom he was named after (Julian) and he same person whom he grew up with while his own parents had to find work for a growing family. I first met Tatay when Julius and I were making the rounds of visiting relatives when we were just planning to get married. He was 86 years old and had some trouble hearing. I liked him the first time I met him because he was honest and affectionate. I knew then, that the family patriarch approves of me joining the family. I also remember my own Daddy (Lolong) in him. Daddy cried when I was sent back to live with own parents. Tatay cried when Julius and I said our goodbyes after spending the Christmas holidays with them.
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I saw the sadness in Julius' eyes when he spoke of Tatay's death. He made various phone calls to Bohol and Leyte – to his Mama, his sister, his cousins and to Nanay. And I can feel his grief.
I have had 6 months of fellowship training in Supportive Hospice and Palliative Medicine. Every day my co-fellows and I talk about death like how Boy Abunda talks about the latest showbiz Buzz; I get to meet patients and families struggling to cope with chronic and terminal illnesses; not a week would pass when I get caught up with a family at bedside facing the death of a loved one, saying their goodbyes; and I can even do bereavement care with my eyes closed, half-awake/half-asleep at 2 o'clock in the morning.
But, I am at a loss now. How do I offer bereavement care to my own husband? Can I just take out my Oxford's and follow it? Or will I just be a wife?
I will be his wife, his companion, his confidante, his shoulder to cry on, his friend….
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Julius and I went to all our usual places, ate our usual food; and did something different somewhere in between.
We ran some errands, and ate that much craved for Taho –Taho Boy. Yummy.
Julius brought me to Cartimar – and wow, this is the place for shoes, especially men's shoes; I do not know what they are called by the Nike's and Adidas' at 7000p in the mall can be had in this place for just a thousand or even lesser. The casual shoes for ladies, TOMS or Crocs, it is here, too. "Do not judge the book by its cover."
We took a jeepney ride from Pasay to Divisoria because I wanted to see Tutuban Mall, even if the rain started to pour hard. We walked through that alley near Binondo and found our way to the Center Mall. The inside was unbelievable. My husband remarked."Naglibog na ka?" There were so many things and people inside. Before exploring, I had to feed Julius Zagu in Buko Pandan with extra pearls before exploring the place. The wedding gowns, the other gowns… The afternoon would not be complete without a visit to the ever reliable 168 Mall. I found a good excuse to drag my husband around the place – he will be helping me find good bargains for the things we are going the need for the Paggunita Activity. =)
As a fitting night cap, I had a fill of my husband's cooking –that pork adobo =); for the next day brought us to SM Manila, the Shawarma, and the Spa and the turon downstairs...
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There are days when we wished life was better, or we wished for the days we once had.
God has not promised to keep us from life's storms, but He will keep us through them.
That is His promise. He does not break His promise. Not ever.
